Satan's Toolshed

(Click on image to enlarge)

Today's Bizarro is brought to you by the National Association of Independent Contractors, aka "Slackers With Tools."

I don't often praise my own cartoons but when this one came to me I couldn't scribble it down fast enough.

CHNW and I bought a place in Brooklyn four years ago and immediately started saving our money for a new kitchen. Last year we got estimates, had enough money, and decided to go with a contractor who came highly recommended by a friend. He said it would take "x" amount of money and 8 to 10 weeks. That was 9 months ago, and although he just finished the job, he has yet to come remove the rest of his tools. So far we've paid him "3x" and he thinks we owe him more. The Taj Mahal took less time and money than this kitchen.

On top of all this, the giant slab of stone-like crap the counter tops are made of is completely the wrong color, and there is a court battle between he and the counter top guy over whose fault it is.

I'm certain there are responsible contractors out there, but from the stories we've heard from friends, and our own experiences with the Kitchen Mahal, I think many are guys who don't want bosses, don't like responsibility, like to keep their own schedule (i.e. work half a day, smoke pot for three days, go to the beach, work half a day, disappear into the mountains for a week, etc.) who have a bunch of extra tools and large, brass balls.

If this project doesn't end in a murder/suicide, it will be a miracle.










This was the title panel from the cartoon. According to millions of American fundamentalists, this is a historically accurate portrayal of the origin of species. This image may well be used in the "science" classes of home-schooled kids all across the nation.

This is the 21st century, right?