Chainsaw Massacre


Today's Bizarro is brought to you in spectacular Panavision.

As a person who has never in his life had the courage to introduce himself to a beautiful woman in a public place, all women might as well be carrying chainsaws. Thankfully, my wife has no such fears and started our first conversation.

Inexplicably, I have no qualms about speaking publicly or performing. But talking one-on-one to a stranger, especially with the intent of "hooking up," makes me more nervous than checking an angry stray dog for ticks.