Fishy

Bizarro is made possible today by a grant from Daryl Hannah's ugly brother.

Mermaids are perhaps the strangest sex symbol in our culture. Even though the top half may be a beautiful woman with exposed breasts, the bottom half is a smelly, scaly fish without a vagina. How much fun could you actually have with a mermaid beyond a little high school pinch-and-tickle?

And forget about a long-term relationship. Even if she could survive on land, you'd have to carry her everywhere from the bathroom to the grocery store, which would get old faster than a fruit fly.

We always depict the mermaid as having a graceful fish body and tail, but would we find them as attractive if they had one of the bodies depicted above? Would little girls want to dress as The Little Mermaid if she looked like this?

On a related shameless-name-dropping note, Daryl Hannah once called my house and left a voice mail. I've met her a few times at animal rights/environmental events and we were conversing about some project or other via email for a while, then she called. It was really cool to have such a sexy, recognizable voice on my VM and I kept it for ages. Events like this are not particularly common in my life, so I thought I'd share it with you. She's a very friendly, natural, and cool person and spends a ton of her own time and money on these kinds of causes.

Here we are together at a fundraiser event. This pic is from back before I was vegan and looked just like John Lovitz.